How to Talk to Kids About Mean Words and Teasing (Ages 3–8)

Quick answer: When a child is hurt by mean words, listen first, name the feeling, then practice a short, calm response together (“That’s not kind. I’m going to play over here.”). Explain the difference between teasing and bullying, and tell them to get an adult when it keeps happening. A story makes the talk easier: Teddy Says Words Can Never Hurt You is one of five books in the Teddy Volume 1 set ($69.99, free US shipping).

“She said my drawing was ugly.” “They called me a baby.” Almost every child comes home with a sentence like this sooner or later. How we respond in that moment teaches them more than any lecture.

We run Caring Parents’ Choice, a small family store that sells the Teddy books. The steps below are useful whatever you read at bedtime.

The book for this talk is in

Teddy Volume 1, five-book set

5 illustrated hardcovers · $69.99 · free US shipping

Includes Teddy Says Words Can Never Hurt You, plus four more stories about saving, work, helpers and the wider world.

See Volume 1 →

What to do in the moment: 5 steps

1. Listen before fixing. Let them tell the whole story. “Tell me what happened” works better than “Who said that?”
2. Name the feeling. “That sounds embarrassing” or “You felt left out.” Children calm down faster when a feeling has a name.
3. Separate the words from the truth. “Someone said your drawing was ugly. Do you like your drawing?” Help them see that a mean sentence is an opinion, not a fact about them.
4. Practice a response together. Short, calm lines are easiest (see the scripts below). Role-play: you say the mean words in a silly voice, they answer.
5. Make a plan for next time. Who can they walk to? Which grown-up at school can they tell?

Teasing or bullying? How to tell the difference

	Teasing	Bullying
How often	Once in a while	Again and again
Between	Kids on equal footing, often friends	One child (or a group) with more power over another
Stops when asked?	Usually	No
What to do	Practice a response at home	Tell the teacher or school, and keep telling adults until it stops

Words can hurt, and a child who is being bullied needs adults to step in. Resilience skills help with everyday teasing; they are never a substitute for grown-ups protecting a child.

Simple scripts children can practice

• “That’s not kind.” (then walk away)
• “I like it, and that’s what matters.”
• “Stop. I don’t like that.”
• “Okay.” (said calmly, which takes the fun out of teasing)
• “I’m going to tell a teacher.” (for anything that repeats or scares them)

Use a story to start the talk

Children often find it easier to talk about a character than about themselves. In Teddy Says Words Can Never Hurt You, Grandpa Teddy notices his grandsons, Princeton and Kingston, are sad after unkind words, and helps them see that they are in charge of how they feel.

After reading, try these questions:

• How did the boys feel at the start? Have you ever felt like that?
• What did Grandpa Teddy say that helped?
• What could you say if someone said something mean to you?
• Who would you tell if it kept happening?

The Teddy series is 10 illustrated hardcover picture books by Ryan Cohen, founder of Chewy, inspired by his father, Ted. We suggest them for reading aloud with children about 3 to 8.

Why we suggest the whole Volume 1 set

You can buy the book on its own for $16.99. We usually suggest the set because confidence grows from more than one conversation:

• Five talks in one box: kind words, saving, work, the people who help us every day, and curiosity about the wider world.
• A bedtime routine, not a one-off lesson you read once when something goes wrong.
• Better value: $69.99 for five hardcovers, with free US shipping.

Frequently asked questions

What should I say when my child is called names?

Listen, name the feeling, and remind them that a mean sentence is someone’s opinion, not a fact about them. Then practice a short response and make sure they know which adult to tell.

At what age do children start teasing?

Playful teasing often starts in preschool, and unkind comments become more common in kindergarten and early grade school, as children compare themselves with each other.

Should I tell my child to ignore mean words?

Ignoring can work for a one-off comment, but it shouldn’t be the only tool. Children also need words to say, a way to walk away, and permission to tell an adult.

What if it’s bullying?

If it’s repeated or one-sided, contact the teacher or school and keep a note of what happened and when. A book can support a child’s confidence, but adults need to stop bullying.

Our pick

Start with the conversation, then make reading together part of the routine. Teddy Says Words Can Never Hurt You is in the Teddy Volume 1 set, alongside four more everyday lessons.

See Teddy Volume 1 · All 10 books

More guides: teaching kids to be a good friend and friendship, feelings and story time for a 5-year-old.